Well, Readers, it's that time again. The holidays are over and I pulled on my new jeans this morning and....horror.
Seeing as I just bought these about 2 months ago, this is SO not bueno. So I put on my fat jeans, and they were baggy. Nice. So, I pulled my new jeans back on and sucked in the gut and zipped them up. Not comfortable, Don't look the best, but they are on.
And that means, so is the Extravaganza.
Because this is the third Weight Loss Extravaganza I've done, I feel the need to switch things up a little. Each time I have been successful, just not "End Goal" successful. The first time I got pregnant shortly after starting, so while I didn't lose weight, I successfully only gained 19 pounds. The second time, I lost all the baby weight plus about 20 pounds. Strong.
This time, I have a little weight to "re-lose" (darn you tasty holiday treats!) and a little more until the End Goal. The End Goal is the size I was when I got married. Not too skinny (as I was in high school) and not too fat (as I was before getting pregnant with Little David), just a nice healthy happy size.
Which brings me to my point.
This time, the Extravaganza isn't going to be about numbers. It's going to be about size.
As most women are, I'm sure, I'm really tired of judging my health by a random number. There have been times in my life I have lived for that number and times in my life I have taken extraordinarily unhealthy means to get to that number. So, I'm done. I'm going by jeans now, baby.
I've got a pair of really great size 10 jeans in my closet on a perfectly lovely wooden hanger. They are soft, I adore the material, and they are a great cut. These are the Goal Jeans. When they fit loosely, I will have hit my goal. It may seem odd to have a double digit goal, but I am nothing if not realistic (ish). Any smaller than that and I start to look a little cadaverous (see pictures of me in early high school), and I don't think David wants to be holding a bag of bones.
Another thing about this Extravaganza (hereafter referred to as the "Fancy Pants Extravaganza"), it's about attitude. I'm tired of whining about extra weight and I'm tired of feeling like I am some sort of failure for enjoying food so much that it has taken up permanent residence on my chest, hips and stomach (You know something else I'm tired of? Waiting on the phone for the flipping hospital people who have sent me yet ANOTHER bill for my false labor back in MAY that was most certainly covered and paid entirely by my insurance company, a fact I and my insurance company have assured them of at least three times now and if this doesn't stop I swear I am moving to a socialist country....but anyways, I digress). So this will be a positive Extravaganza.
Here is the basic outline of my Fancy Pants Extravaganza:
No calling ones self "Fat" or any other yucky name. From here on out I will only call myself a "Sexy Beast".
Lots of carrot sticks.
Lots of water.
No pinching of ones fattier parts and shaking them around. No one looks good doing that.
Lots of yummy fruit.
Lots of nasty vegetables.
Going to the gym each week. More than that is good, but we're starting small here.
Jumping out of the shower each day and yelling "TA DA!!!" (or more safely, getting out of the shower slowly and then jumping).
Now doesn't this Extravaganza sound fun and not at all like a diet? That's right. The Unsinkable is one pretty smart cookie.