Monday, January 15, 2007

But Mom, My PJ's Are Just So Constricting!

Oh Reader Friends, I have entered into such a treacherous phase with my dear little Tot. While Potty-Training (and I use that term very loosely, it's more like sometimes I let her run around naked and hope for the best), it seems that the Tot has taken to "Feeling The Breeze". To all of you who knew me from Harding, let's just say, I'm a little nervous that I'll have a Jr. Little Rock Challenger. But anyways, here's the story.

7:00 pm - Tot's Bedroom.

David and I had just put Little David to sleep. One down, One to go. We gather up the Tot and take her through her evening routine. She washes her face, because it's usually covered in whatever dinner was - tonight it was CoCo Crispies. Don't judge, she's on a hunger strike and we're going with what works (for the record, she didn't touch the stupid things. I was sure it would be a hit...sigh). Then it's teeth brushing, which is her new favorite past time. She runs up to me at all hours of the day saying "Mommee TEETH" and taps her front teeth (coincidentally, the only ones she can brush by herself). It's really cute and I'm hoping this means no cavities.

Anyways, then we take her to her potty and let her sit on it for a few minutes, encouraging her to do her thing. She never does. Then the three of us head off to her room. David and I manage to keep her down while we change her diaper and get her in her zippered footsie Blue's Clues pajamas and then it's time for one of my favorite parts of the day. We sing a song about reading our Bible and then we read a short Bible story and then we pray. Then it's hugs and kisses and we tuck our sweet little Tot into her Big Girl Bed with the promise that she will most definitely get a spanking if she gets out of bed and tries to climb up the dresser again (It happens so often that it's now a routine warning). Dave and I put up the baby gate in her door way so she can't roam the house if she wakes up at 3am and we close her door, leaving it open a crack. Sigh. She's Down.

7:15 pm - The Hallway.

She is SO not down. By this point, Dave has left to go pick us up some Quizno's (whenever I think of that name I always sing that quizno's spongmonkeys commercial song) and I'm picking up all the shrapnel (toys) that is littering our home.

Then I hear it.

"MAAAAAAAMMEEEEEE" Oh No. "I PEEEEE PEEEE". You have got to be kidding me.

I make my way to the hall way and there is none other than my sweet Tot standing naked as a jaybird trying to climb over the baby gate. I get up to her and see that she has tossed a completely dry diaper over the gate along with her completely dry pj's. Full of burgeoning hope I open the gate and say "Hurry to the potty! Hurry!". She runs, giggling and shrieking, her little cheeks swinging in the air, and I look down.

She has totally peed all over the carpet. Sigh.

I take in stride, figuring that at least she knew enough about the potty urge that she took off her pj's and diaper, right? I mean, if the gate had been down she would have surely gone in the potty. This isn't a failure, it's a victory!

With my resolve strengthened, I clean up the pee (ew.), and get the Tot in a pull up (figuring that she'll feel like she's in big girl panties and maybe won't feel the need to take them off) and get her back in her pj's and into bed. More hugs, more praise for knowing she was about to potty, more hugs, more gentle suggestions that next time she tell me before she has peed on our quickly-becoming-not-new carpet, more kisses and it's lights out.

Whew. Thank goodness that's over.

7:20 pm - Same Bat Channel.

I am still cleaning up when I hear her door slam shut. Lately, she has taken real offense whenever I leave the door open a crack. I'm not sure if this is a really premature adolescent desire for privacy or her just being contrary, but whatever it is, she is NOT having that door open. I usually let it go, since it's not that big of a deal, but this time it was followed by lots of playtime noise and giggles. Time to put down the Mom Foot.

I walk into the hallway and what do I see? A closed door, a closed baby gate, and a pull up that had been tossed into the hall.

This is so not looking good.

I open the door, and there is the Tot in all her noodie boodie splendor, playing with her stuffed animals and panties (no idea why) in the middle of a pool of her bed covers. I do a quick check of the room and there is no wetness, just nakedness. Her pj's have been discarded right by the door and she looks up at me and shrieks a giggle and says "Mommy I nakee!!".

So now our bedtime ritual looks something like this: Wash Face, Brush Teeth, Potty Chair, Pull Up, PJ's, Bible Song, Bible Story, Prayer, Hugs, Kisses, and a Three Fold Warning.

"Night Night Sweet Pea, Mommy and Daddy Love You. And Taylor Dawn Chapman, if you climb onto the dresser you get a popping, if you get out of bed you get a popping, and if you get out of bed, take off your pj's and start playing around naked, you get a popping. Night Sweetie, Love You, Sweet Dreams."


LBC said...

Stinkin' hilarious! Were you able to keep a straight face when you found her like that?

Sarah said...

That was great. (Not so much for you, but I have to agree that it was stinkin' hilarious to read about.)

I, too, always sing the Quizno's dust bunny song when I think of Quizno's! (Seriously, what ARE those things?!)

The Queen said...

I love it! I guess what goes around comes around! It warms the conkels (spelled wrong on porpoise)
of your ol' mom's heart. You were always a tricksey-little hobbit too. Love you. :)
ps. You are a good mom. Just like your mom. (wink)