I've noticed lately that all I seem to be doing is playing catch up around the house. Washing dishes so that we can use them again right away, doing laundry so that we can wear the same clothes over again, picking up the house at nap time just to messy it up again.
I realize that getting things out of sorts is just a part of life, particularly my time of life. I'm wrangling two little ones that are constantly emptying things, opening things and pulling things down. They are discovering everything all the time and I'm pretty much okay with it.
What I have yet to be okay with is my physical reaction to it all. My reaction has kindof been to slide from being pretty anal retentive about housework, to almost being a slob. Now, granted, I can still nice up the house for company relatively fast, but I've fallen far below the standard of living that I believe I should hold. After all, God called me to be at home and to keep my home for my family, is that really something I should be letting slide?
For me, this has been less about the housework, and more about my attitude towards it. I've always felt that I showed my family that I cared for them by providing a home that ran smooth. Food when you needed it, clean clothes when you needed them, warm clean beds, and a place to relax or play where clutter wouldn't get in the way. Above all, a happy wife/mom that was glad you were there, had time and energy to play or snuggle, and wasn't so worried about housework that she forgot to have fun. I held that standard pretty well with Taylor and through my pregnancy. It's been the addition of our Little David that has thrown me for a loop. My time to accomplish all of this has suddenly shrunk and my need for alone time/grown up time has suddenly skyrocketed.
So as I've tried to figure out a solution to this problem, one that I would be happy with and wouldn't stress me out, I've let my obligations slide. I let the dishes go until we need them (or until some one might see them), I let the laundry go until Dave has nothing to wear for work, and I let the house get cluttered up until I go nuts and exhaust myself cleaning it all up. And don't even get me started on the bedrooms. War zones.
So, this morning I'm sitting in my pj's, staring at my cluttered and messy home, knowing that while I have chosen wisely and put loving my familiy and children over a spotless home, I still am accountable for the mess. It is possible to do all of it, just maybe not to my prior specifications. I'm trying to learn the balance between doing everything right on schedule and doing nothing until the last possible moment. Perhaps learning that I don't have to have a schedule, or a plan or a book to make things run smoothly. Maybe I just get it done when I can. And if I can't, oh well.
Until I do, you may see me being a little wrinkled, and when you come to visit me you may see our laundry on the table and some dishes in the sink. But I am, after all, Unsinkable, and what is a new phase in life without a little challenge?