Warning: This post contains graphic descriptions of toddler life.
In the car, on the way home from the park
UK: Tot, you need to wipe your nose, you have some stuff going on there.
T: No, I don't.
UK: What is that coming out of your nose, then?
T: Mommy, Snot is not gross. It is delicious, delicious, delicious.
Then she licks it all up.
In the bathroom, Tot is trying to make #2.
T: Mommy, my bottom is not strong enough.
UK: Oh, no?
T: No, it needs more air.
UK: Um, what?
T: It needs more air and gas to push the poops out.
UK: Well, how about that.
T: (sighs) The Mommy poops and Daddy poops said no. All done.
UK: Okay, then.