Dear Tall Peppermint Java Chip Frappachino,
Friend, we've been together a long time. It's been you and me for at least 3 years and I don't know what I would have done without you. That cool, crisp first impression, the way you always perked me up and drove me to keep moving on, no matter the circumstance. I've told countless people how important you are to me. I've even blogged about you! Surely you know how much you mean to me. You've gotten me through those tough times when I was pregnant and exhausted, when the kids were teeny tiny and I didn't know if I'd make it another day without going some kind of crazy. You were always there for me. I'll never forget that.
I think we've reached an impasse in our relationship. I just think we both want different things, you know? You have this rich, decadent lifestyle going on and there's totally nothing wrong with that, I'm just wanting to move in a different direction. Of course I'll still see you! How could you even think I wouldn't? I just won't be around as much. Maybe once or twice in the summer.
No, there's no one else. Really. I'm just wanting to have a little alone time.
Okay, there is someone else. We've only just started to hang out more, it's nothing serious. Really, it's no big deal. It's just, well, you can be a little frosty sometimes and...no, no I understand that's just part of who you are and I know how you feel about me...I just need a little more warmth.
Well, fine. It's a latte. Are you happy now? I didn't want to make this into some big thing, I was trying to be nice. I'm seeing the Tall Chai Tea Latte, no fat, sugar free syrup. I just...connected. I'm sorry if this hurts you, but that's just the way it is. Shut up about their name already, okay? That's not who they are! They are much more down to earth than you are making it sound. I'm not trying to be some one else, I just need a little change. A calmer partner. A warmer, maybe better for me relationship.
Anyways, I'm sorry to do this, but well, it had to be done. I'll see you later, okay? We'll keep in touch.