Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Privacy? Escapism? Whatever Works, Yo.

Today I came to a conclusion. I need to shower. Regularly. Every day.

This probably isn't the world's most shocking conclusion, and some of you are probably nodding your head and saying "Thank Heavens some one finally told her. Girlfriend was starting to smell a color" (note: I would love to say "Girlfriend" more, but alas, I sound dumb when doing so. This also applies to "Chica" "Sister" and "Girl"). But really, today I finally realized that I had to get this to happen some how.

While I do shower, and often, it is never at the same time, and there are definitely days when it just doesn't happen. Most of the time, it's because I know that I will never be able to slip into my bathroom unnoticed and will certainly receive visitors who will use this time to dig through my make up, lick water off the floor, and throw things into the toilet while I watch, unable to do anything with any relative speed.

It's a harsh reality.

But today, today I found my answer. And my answer is PBS and a door lock.

After our walk this morning I was feeling a little gamey, what with the recent rain and the moisture hanging in the air like a curtain. So when we got home, I got the kids out of their adorable raincoats, and set them in front of the TV with PBS on, playing some show that I don't remember. And all of a sudden I thought "This is it! This is my time! Quick! To the Batcave!" (I always talk to myself in exclamation points). So I ran to the bathroom and then realized that as soon as the water started they would know. They just would. I walked up to the door to the master bedroom, I stared at the lock and thought "Well, it's not like they could get into any worse trouble than they normally do." and I locked it.

Quick as a flash I hopped in the shower and knew that regardless of what was going on outside of my room, be it fighting, biting, kicking, screaming or breaking, all I could hear was the sound of steaming hot water washing my tension away. No worries, no stress, just complete silence. Perfection. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower straining my ears to hear if World War III was indeed breaking out in my living room in reaction to my audacious door locking.
Silence. Sweet silence.

I threw on my clothes, towel dried my hair and put it in my ubiquitous pony tail (does anyone even know what my hair looks like down??) and I was out the door. And what did I see? Two very quiet kids watching PBS, all calm like.

Now, that works for me. Everyday. PBS and door locks, friends, write it down.


For more Works For Me Wednesdays, go take a looksee at Rocks In My Dryer!


Baby Tunnel Exodus said...

I hear you! I got to the same mindset of hey, I DESERVE a shower people. I had to stop waiting for time to open up and just Make time like you did. PTL for PBS. Blessings, Whitney

Angela said...

I've got the same problem. I've tried everything and am not finding much hope. I can take one if my second is sleeping, the two year old. But if the two and four year olds are awake then its asking for trouble. The other day I came out of a very fast shower to find the kids in the back of the truck, garage open, toys all over the lawn. Oh I flipped. Oh well I'll do my best to not stink and shower when I don't have to stress. Congrats on your magic fix!

Unsinkable Kristen said...

Yeah, been there. Dave and I ended up putting hotel locks on every.single.door. in the house (outside doors, closet doors, bathroom doors, pantry door, etc.). They are from home depot and are the kind used in hotels (not the sliding chain, but the flat panel). Tot (who is a genius at locks) hasn't a) found a way to get up to the top of the door frame where they are at, b)ever been able to yank hard enough to break them. And they were less than $2 a piece. I'm telling you, those saved my sanity worrying about the kids getting out of the house.

I highly suggest them for anyone who has a particularly smart kid :)

Beth said...

"Gurl" didn't any one tell you this before now? Time with Seseme St. b/c its an hour long. ;)
No I don't leave Elle-girl alone for an hour, but I do use that time to get a lot done.
Which I'm totally sure was Mr. Henson's original plan for the show!

Christa said...

I do the same thing. Showers just don't happen without a little TV time for my kids. My one-year-old still tries to crawl under the door, but 1 out of five isn't too bad. :)

Nicole McIntyre said...

I got a step further. I TiVo my PBS needs so that they are at my disposal. We have a nice stockpile of Sesame Street, Barney, and Jack's Big Music Show.

JRandDaisha said...

I started putting Naomi in the pack-n-play in front of the front door with Gideon watching something I'd Tivoed...

At least that started AFTER I found him in the middle of the street with a scary looking dude in a car glaring at me.

Now, I'm rushing to get dressed with a fear of finding the pack-n-play pushed aside and G dead in the road.

Showering at night after they've gone to bed is when I take my relaxing showers.

Do those hotel locks work with metal doors? :)

Unsinkable Kristen said...

Yes they do!! You just screw them into the door frame, not the actual door. We have all metal front and back doors, so we were running into similar problems. I'll try to get a link to what I'm talking about so you all can get a visual.

Misty said...

gosh, i wish my little one liked tv enough to SIT STILL for a shower! you'd never know by the smell of me that showers are my most favorite thing in the world. alas... i'm glad PBS and you are getting along!!