September 28, 2005
Licking Your Own Spit Up (or Why My Daughter Is Disgusting)
All I can say is...Ew. Ew Ew Ew.
Upon having a child, one is inundated with various pieces of advice "Sleep when the baby sleeps", "share household responsibilities for the first few weeks", "Enjoy it they grow up so fast", "Breastfeed until they are at least 12 months old", "Bottlefeed as soon as possible", "Co-Sleep","Get that child in it's own room NOW", "Come as soon as they cry", "Let them cry it out, it won't kill them", etc. But no one, NO ONE, tell you to attack your child with a paper towel as soon as they spit up or else they will become curious and try to eat it.
2 p.m. The Living Room
I was innocently watching television (I think it was some woodworking show on PBS or maybe Mr Rogers) when I looked up to check on the playing tot. She is usually occupied by herself (she doesn't always play well with others) with her toys. Today I looked up and saw that she was not by her toys, she was under a kitchen chair. She looked up at me, and puked. Yes, puked. Spit up everywhere. I just sat there a moment, wondering what could have caused this as she hadn't eaten in awhile, and in that split second it happened. Tot looked down and saw the mess on her leg, stuck her finger in it, raised her finger to her mouth and licked it off. Then she looked up at me and grinned, like it tasted good or something. It was all I could do not to throw up in response. What held me back was the realization that she would most likely see it as an invitation to snack and I wouldn't be able to clean it up in time to prevent the feast.
So dear readers, the moral of the story is to immediately respond when your child spits up. Seriously, you just can't move fast enough.