As most mothers do, I am sure, I tend to denigrate myself thinking that I am dropping ten thousand balls when it comes to raising my children. I am not a perfect parent. There are times when my children are disrespectful, they are lazy, they are disobedient. They are unruly, they are bullies, they don't finish their plates at dinner and do not ask to be excused.
It's in these phases, when it feels like my children are exhibiting every single quality that I am hoping to discourage them from, that I wonder why in the world God gave me children in the first place. Surely, I am not qualified for this. Surely, I am not meant to be a mother. Surely, there is no way I am going to raise productive adults that know how to read, how not to pick their nose, how to be kind to the downtrodden, and how to sit still for more than three seconds and not ask for the tv to be on all day.
Surely someone else is doing this better.
And then, I will go to the store with both kids in tow. The day will have been a hellish one, I will have given up many, many times. There will have been no good nutrition, no good bible lesson, and no patient mother. We will go to the checkout register where I will restrain three thousand hands grabbing at the alluring fruit snack display and I will be sure that everyone is looking at me and wondering why on earth I am allowed to procreate for a third time. But in a moments notice, a kindly cashier will ask if my children would like a sucker. And of course, they do. But instead of grabbing maniacally for the bucket, one child will reach carefully into the bucket and take one sucker for each of them and say "Oh thank you so much. This is my absolutely favorite flavor. You are the best." And then say "Excuse me, Ma'am. Could you show me where the trashcan is so I can throw away my wrapper?" And the cashier will say to me "What wonderfully polite children you have."
And I will walk away thinking that while I may not be doing a perfect job, I am doing good enough for right now. And sometimes, that's really all you can ask of yourself.