You know, I was reading an essay the other day that I felt like I had read a billion times before. It was about a mom who stays at home with her kids and was questioning her choice. She used to have a job she loved, now she freelances, and she wonders what was lost in the translation.
I am tired of hearing about this.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm tired of it because I'm a third time mom who isn't in that phase of life anymore. My choice has been made, I'm not changing it, and I don't doubt it. And since we homeschool, it won't be something I really have to think about for a long time. So reading article after article about the "Stay At Home Mom vs. Work At Home Mom vs. Working Mom" has almost no relevance or appeal to me.
But I feel this way about most "hot button" issues. I've made my choices, I don't doubt them, and I'm not changing them. And if you have made different choices, fine. I see no need to persuade you differently. If you ask, I'll tell you why I cloth diaper, but if you choose disposables, that has zero effect on my day to day life. I don't spend my spare time bemoaning your decision to buy jarred food instead of hand making it or deciding to go back to work.
So why, WHY, do I have to read about this in every. single. magazine? Is there nothing left to talk about besides the things that for some unearthly reason polarize moms?
Which brings me to my ultimate point: I am tired of hearing about Mommy Wars. What Mommy Wars? Who are these people "warring"? Why on earth does anyone feel the need to argue about this over and over? And why do magazine editors insist on publishing articles about it in every. single. issue? Sweet Fancy Moses. If you are reading anything related to parenting you just can not escape these topics. Surely there is more to parenting than picking a side on a few hot button topics and defending your choice to the death.
I'm sure that if people only knew my choices, I would look like a rabid hippy. Stay at Home mom, Breastfeeding, Baby Wearing, Co-Sleeping, Cloth Diapering, Delayed Vaccinating, Homeschooling, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. However, not one of these choices define me. They are simply choices, not the center of my being. It is impossible to know my character or motivations simply by assigning me to a "side" of a debate. So why do we feel the need to endlessly moan and groan about making these choices? It's not like once you put a cloth diaper on your baby you are an irrevocably "Natural" mother and will never be able put a disposable on them or that once you choose to stay at home you can never work again. It's not all or nothing.
I do know that just because I choose not to participate in any sort of "war" doesn't mean that there aren't people who do. Maybe that is even the majority of people, I don't know. There will always be those handful of loud people that equate bottle feeding to child abuse or insist that stay at home moms have lost their identity, but so what? Ignore them and move on. Don't keep giving them a chance to see who can yell their point louder. And for goodness sakes, quit arguing back. Telling a mom who loves her public school and is actively involved in it how much better homeschooling is for her kids won't change her mind. It'll just irritate her. If it's that important to you, then mention the positive attributes and then quit talking and let her see how happy your choice has made you.
The only thing worth pushing about is Salvation, and last time I checked, no battle in the Mommy Wars was centered around that.
Anyways, I'll step down off of my very randomly put up Soap Box and get back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. But for real friends, I'm going to have a pretty gnarly facial tic if I see one more article about this. My eyes are already starting to cross whenever I flip the page and see the acronym "SAHM".
Or maybe I should just take my own advice and flip the page to the next article. I do love reading a recipe for a good mock-tail. :)