Wednesday, February 26, 2014
I think that the best way to describe what the past year and half has been like would be to describe this past Monday. We are moving to a year-round school and so this week is our week off between terms. In my head, I was up and dressed and getting all those little things done that fall through the cracks when you are trying to get school done and get everyone to Tang Soo Do and Scouts and feed them all a thousand times a day. With school out, maybe laundry could get done.
Nolan disagreed with my vision for this week. He disagreed hard.
During the course of my day, I lost him a grand total of 6 times. Friends, I live in a 1500 sq ft house, losing someone is hard. That's why he went outside the house, of course.
First, Little David ran inside yelling "Mom! Mom! Red Alert! Red Alert! Nolan got out the gate!!" You know, the gate that is always locked and is hard for a grown woman to open? That gate. So, I raced out the front door and saw him five houses down running like he's a bat out of hell, laughing all the way. I finally caught him and carried him back in, locking the gate.
The next time he raced out the front yard after Taylor took the trash out and naturally left the door unlocked behind her. Nolan was out like the Flash. Taylor yelled for me and I raced out the door again and we tag teamed him, carrying him by hands and feet to the house. Repeat this scenario, with a few variables, twice.
Then he discovered he could climb over the chain link fence and get to our neighbors house while he was playing with the big kids out in our backyard. I was inside in the kitchen and he could get over the fence before I could grab him. He finally stopped trying that when I heard him calling "Mama! Mama! Help! Reshoo Me! Reshoo Me!" and ran out the back door to find him hanging on the fence by his diaper, hands flailing in the air. I got him down, told him not to do that ever again, and he goes "Whew. Tank You, Mama. Scary."
You would think that he had learned his lesson, but he's two and rarely do two year olds learn anything like that.
The final time I lost him was the scariest for me, but the most fun for him. I was making lunch (Yes, this all happened before lunch. It was the longest day of ALL TIME.) and I realized that it was quiet and I couldn't see Nolan. Crap. So, I called out to the other kids "FIND YOUR BROTHER NOW!!!" and we all raced to the corners of the house looking for him in the usual spots: under the beds playing with Allie's toys, in the bathroom eating toothpaste, climbing out of the back window, or trying to get into my car in the garage. Nothing. We double checked. Nothing. I ran back out into the garage and looked at the car again and noticed something. There was a small, half-eaten carrot on the passenger seat. The car was locked, and I hadn't locked it. So I ran to get my keys, opened the car door, and heard him quietly laughing to himself in the third row as he put stickers all over the seats. Busted.
We ended the day with bath times and early bed times for all, and Dave bringing home some Kit-Kats from the gas station down the road that we ate in secret in our closet wondering if there would ever be a day we didn't physically need to eat Kit Kats in the closet.
The take away from that morning is that I am basically running a crazy house right now and I have to lock this place down tighter than Alcatraz. But I've got a pretty rock star Pal to run the crazy with me and if I have to be locked down for a season of This Two Year Old Is Flat Out Bonkers, I'm glad it's with this bunch of loons.